You know what my problem is? I feel disempowered.
I would like to shout out that, "I'm a Catholic, single male,
I'm 40, and I struggle with same sex attraction." But how can I do that when
there are very few leaders in the Catholic Church who are even willing to set
an example? How many of our Catholic priests are courageous enough to stand up
among the congregation and identify with this struggle?
No, they remain silent. They simply listen to us confessing our sins of impure thoughts and of acting out our intrinsically disordered sexual desires. But where are the church leaders who are willing to go beyond the call of duty, to absolve us of our sins in the secrecy of the confessional, who are willing to stand boldly alongside us before the church community declaring, “Hey, I too am a leper, crying out to the Lord to have pity on me”?* Because that is how I feel, like a "leper"; to have to struggle with SSA in secrecy within my Catholic community, alone in my fear that if I were to disclose my struggle with SSA, I would be “cast out into a leper colony”. And I feel as though the only circles where I can experience the full measure of freedom to express my innermost struggles, is among other men and women who also struggle with SSA. So in this sense, isn't it true, that Courage Apostolate, the support group for Catholic men and women struggling with SSA, is the Church's modern day “leper colony”? When will persons struggling with SSA like myself experience acceptance, support and encouragement, and a genuine sense of belonging in our respective church communities, without fear of being judged?
*12 As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met him. They stood at a distance 13 and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!”
Luke 17:12-13
New International Version (NIV)
It seems the only
people who are bold enough to speak aloud publicly are people who have SSA, but
are fighting against the church; and advocating “gay” rights, which to me are “rights
that allow persons with SSA to act out in defiance to the Catholic church's
teachings on morality and chastity”. Yet those of us with SSA, but choose to
live according to the guidelines on morality and chastity pertaining to
homosexuality in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, seem to be “bullied”
into silence for fear of the “stigma” that being a Catholic person with SSA still
carries with it in our contemporary church communities. A “stigma” that makes
me feel ashamed to speak up in my church community, rather than boast with
great joy that Christ redeems me each day in my struggle with sexual
brokenness, that it is by His grace alone that He sustains me in my daily battle
for purity.
I often feel overwhelmed by the seeming hopelessness of
living as a Catholic “outcast” with SSA. However, if I were to regard my SSA as the “thorn in my
flesh” similar to that which St. Paul also spoke of, then perhaps I should actually
rejoice and be glad even that I have been given this “thorn in my flesh” as a
constant reminder of my dependence on God, that it is His grace alone which sustains
me. Perhaps as well, I should also learn from St. Paul, who with wisdom that
can come only from the Holy Spirit, spoke of the added benefit of this “thorn
in his flesh” that “kept a proud man humble before God”.* Perhaps the great
paradox is that this “thorn in the flesh” which seems more of a curse than a
blessing, helps to develop in the person struggling with SSA, the virtue of
humility.
*7 Because the things God showed me were so wonderful, I might have become too proud of myself. But something happened and stopped that. It was like a thorn in me. It came from Satan [the devil] to trouble me. It came to stop me from being too proud.
2 Corinthians 12:7-10
Worldwide English (New Testament) (WE)
Perhaps this “stigma” of shame that comes with my SSA has little or nothing to do with the lack of solidarity and support coming from church leaders,
or the potential threat of rejection by the greater church community in the
event of self disclosure, but rather it is a “shadow” that comes with my own
self-absorbed pride in constructing an impenetrable fortress around myself,
projecting an image that I am perfect and unblemished, yet knowing desperately
deep inside that it is all a lie.
“Lord, help me to lay down my pride, tear down the fortress
I have built around myself, my fake image, my false pretenses, my excuses and
finger pointing, putting the blame on others; and build instead a new life
grounded on the truth that You have redeemed me through Your love and
sacrifice, that by Your grace I can grow daily in inner chastity as well as humility, patience, temperance, fortitude and charity; and that You have set me free to love others as the Father has loved me. Lord
let this truth of Your redeeming love empower me to speak freely and boldly of
Your love for me, the same love You offer to all mankind; and help me to love
all people, as You, Lord Jesus, love me. Amen.”
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8 Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. 9 And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 10 Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:8-10
New American Standard Bible (NASB)
Terminology: (A) Person with Same Sex Attraction (SSA) vs. "gay" or "homosexual" - In discussing homosexuality we must therefore strive for precision in terms. This may be at the cost of linguistic convenience. Popular culture and ease of speech make the less accurate words more attractive. Nevertheless, it is better to speak of same-sex attractions, homosexual inclinations or tendencies. (The Catholic Church's pastoral response)
Description and History: Courage Apostolate/International - Courage Apostolate is a spiritual support system that is designed to assist men and women struggling with SSA to live chaste lives through prayer, fellowship, truth and love in obedience with the teachings of the Roman Catholic Church. The group was founded in 1980 by the late Terence Cardinal Cooke, Archbishop of New York and the late Fr. John Harvey, OSFS. The group meetings consist of laymen and laywomen usually under anonymous discretion, together with a priest, using a 12-step program adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous. With the endorsement of the Holy See in 1994, Courage now has more than ninety-five (95) chapters worldwide, including Courage Philippines chapter, established in 1995 with the permission of His Eminence, the late Jaime Cardinal Sin, Archbishop of Manila.
The Catholic Medical Association's statement on Same-Sex Attraction: SSA is preventable and a symptom of other issues. The goal of therapy should be "freedom to live chastely according to one's state in life."
The Catechism of the Catholic Church on Pastoral Care of Persons with SSA: The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination , which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God's will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord's Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition. (CCC 2358)
Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teaches them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection. (CCC 2359)
Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teaches them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection. (CCC 2359)
http://www.revelife.com/754851828/i-was-given-a-thorn-in-my-flesh-paul-and-homosexuality/
Please read this blog post written by a friend which ties in beautifully with my blog post, Overcoming my Shame of SSA:
http://letterstochristopher.wordpress.com/2013/09/05/two-thomases-a-guy-named-clives-and-a-hobbit-called-frodo/
Please read this blog post written by a friend which ties in beautifully with my blog post, Overcoming my Shame of SSA:
http://letterstochristopher.wordpress.com/2013/09/05/two-thomases-a-guy-named-clives-and-a-hobbit-called-frodo/
